Bismillah ves-salatu ves-selamu ala Resulillah, ve ba'd>

Considering that we are in a period when many of our Muslim brothers under this region are getting married, I decided to offer sincere advice to the newlyweds as a reminder of the etiquettes of the first wedding night and related matters. I hope that after reading this text they will learn important things related to this topic and will not forget me in their prayers!

LETTER TO THE NEWLYWED

Es-selamu aleykum, dear newlywed, as soon as I heard that you have embarked on the matrimonial waters, I sincerely decided to congratulate you and wish you a blessed marriage filled with love, understanding, and many children! How wonderful is your choice of life partner! Dear newlywed! Know that marriage is a respected institution in Islam, so may your first step in marriage be firm and in accordance with Islamic norms.

I want to give you several pieces of advice through this letter regarding the first wedding night, so try to apply them.

Dear newlywed! Regarding the first wedding night, there are established Islamic regulations, many of which spouses do not know. I will mention some of them as guidance for the future married couple:

1- Enter the marriage room with ablution (wudu);

2- Pray two rak'ahs. Abdullah ibn Mas'ud (ra) said: “When you bring the bride to your home (on the first wedding night), let her pray two rak'ahs behind you, and say: Allahumme barik li fi ahli wa barik lahum fiyya. Allahumme jma‘ baina ma jama‘ta bi khayrin wa farriq baina iza farrakta ila al-khayr.”

3- Before the marital meeting, recite the supplication as the Prophet (peace be upon him) said: “When one of you approaches his wife, let him say: Bismillah. Allahumma jannibna ash-shaytan wa jannibni ash-shaytan ma razaqtana; if a child is conceived from that act, Satan shall not harm him.” (Bukhari, Muslim) Another hadith says: “When a man has intercourse with his wife without reciting Bismillah before, a jinn and Satan join him in that act.” (Ibn Jarir al-Tabari, Hakim, Tirmidhi, Nawadir al-Usul) The consequence of this is bleeding or damage to sperm fertility.

4- Place your hand on the bride's forehead and say “Bismillah,” then recite a prayer asking Allah, the Exalted, for her blessing. Bukhari reports that the Prophet (pbuh) said: “When one of you marries, mention the Exalted Allah, then ask for blessing with these words: (Allahumme inni as’aluka min khayriha wa khayri ma jabaltaha ‘alayhi, wa a’uzu bika min sharriha wa sharri ma jabaltaha ‘alayhi). “O Lord, I ask You for good from her and good from what You have created her from, and I seek refuge in You from her evil and the evil of what You have created her from.”

5- Be careful to be covered during intimacy. There should be humility before Allah and the angels and avoidance of the gaze of jinn and Satan. Also, Ibn Majah reports: “When anyone among you has intercourse with his wife, let them be covered and not fully exposed so they do not look like two donkeys.”

6- Try to be gentle and kind, because the Prophet (pbuh) ordered: “Do not approach women as animals approach their females.”

7- Keep your intimate relationship secret, hidden from the eyes of others.

8- Perform intimacy only in the fertile part, and the ways and forms are not strictly prescribed but depend on your will. The Exalted Allah says: “Your wives are a tilth for you, so approach your tilth when or how you will...” (Al-Baqarah, 223)

9- Do not tell anyone about your intimate life. The Prophet (pbuh) said: “Indeed, on the Day of Judgment, the worst position before Allah will be the man who has intercourse with his wife, and then reveals her secrets (describes the incident).” (Muslim)

10- Dear brother, be simple in your home, avoid harshness and cruelty, because when gentleness and kindness are present, they only increase the beauty of something, and when gentleness is absent, the thing becomes lifeless. Know that you will live a long life with this spouse, so begin the marriage by drawing near to Allah, the Exalted.

These were briefly – dear newlywed – important advice for the first wedding night, so do not neglect them or consider them worthless. Arif ef Ramadani